Clearing out just one screen of enemies can be a slog. It’s even worse if you’re surrounded by multiple enemies, as they’ll try to gang up on you and force you into a state where they can knock you down again and again, slowly whittling away your health. The enemies, however, never seem to have a hard time hitting you, meaning that finding out who will actually get the first hit in between you and your average mook seems to be a matter of luck. From the start, the hit detection always feels somewhat suspect, meaning that there will be times that a kick you thought hit somebody will harmlessly pass right through them. Unfortunately, simply put, the game is just no good.
You can also kick enemies while they’re knocked down to inflict some extra damage, which makes dealing with some of the crowds the game sends at you a little easier. There’s a lot of weapon combat, and in something of a rarity for this kind of genre, you’ll even pick up the occasional handgun. To Crime Fighters‘ credit, there is a certain brutality to it that you’d expect from a game about beating people up, even more so than most beat-em-ups. That may be the best part of the entire game. You can also grab enemies by hitting them a few times, leading into a few other moves like kneeing them in the face, or rarely, hitting them in the privates, complete with a “ding!”. You have one button for punching and one for kicking, and by pressing both buttons together, you can perform stronger attacks like flying knees and roundhouse kicks. Compared to the more frantic pace of something like Turtles, it’s a much slower, more methodical game, one that feels a lot closer to something like Double Dragon, than anything. Unlike Bayou Billy and S.P.Y., Crime Fighters isn’t nearly as ambitious, so it’s nothing but a beat-em-up all the way through.
Your heroes are unnamed and are almost completely identical in terms of not only looks, but moves as well, with the only thing really changing between them being the color of their pants, hair, and skin. Plural, in this case, as some guy the game only refers to as “a fat toad” has kidnapped a bunch of ladies while his thugs do vaguely defined bad things.
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